We’re all still here. Still alive, still breathing. No one got hurt.
Just wanted to let you know that before I started telling you about my morning.
For background, I’ll tell you that the coffee maker (donated by nameless someone) died shortly before Christmas. But my friend Heather came through and loaned us her decrepit espresso maker, the one she uses only for iced mochas in the summertime. (She doesn’t share my view that coffee and chocolate should be NEXT to each other, not sharing each other’s space)
I love Heather, and I love espresso, but I don’t love her espresso machine. It is funky. It spits, it howls, it produces much steam, and it makes bitter coffee. But, in spite of how it sounds, I’m not complaining. After all, I’m still getting my daily shot of caffeine. (Ok twice daily) (Ok, it depends on the day)
This morning, Donn left early to go out for breakfast with a friend, and I couldn’t get the top off the machine to add the water. I taunted Elliot, who’s been doing push-ups, to try to motivate him to be able to open it, but to no avail. Why won’t taunting, shame and derision work with my kids?
No coffee. I took a deep breath and considered my options. I called Donn to ask him to bring me some home with him, and he said he could but had to run a few errands first.
So Ilsa and I started on her music exam, the part we didn’t finish yesterday. It involved playing, over and over and over again, a French folk song (J’entends le loup) while she shook her little Macarena-thingy and never, ever, contrary to the law of averages, got on beat.
It was only about 9 or so and I hadn’t had any coffee. And she kept shaking it, off beat, in my ears, and that stupid woman on the CD kept going on, in her sprightly way, about the horse who ate all the hay and then repented of it in the winter. Sigh.
And yet we’re all still here.
Even though Donn forgot to bring me coffee (which would have been Starbucks, even though we’re boycotting until they assuage my anger by giving me free coffee; no response yet). He did make me some when he arrived and with his superior man-strength (don’t choke, Steph!), was able to open the espresso machine.
First he made me decaf, by mistake. Then, he laughed at my despair. Then he made me a triple-strength Americano in an enormous mug.
Ilsa is fine, although still off-beat.
14 comments
February 1, 2008 at 8:11 pm
suburbancorrespondent
A trying morning, indeed! And whatever you’re using for their schooling, it sounds like torture. Even with caffeine….
February 2, 2008 at 1:00 am
js
Hey, you are welcome to my French press–the one you borrowed earlier. It’s not very fancy, but makes good coffee. Let me know–I can’t bear the thought of you starting the day without coffee.
February 2, 2008 at 1:13 am
Linda
How about Ebay? Surely there must be one for sale cheap somewhere on the Internet.
February 2, 2008 at 5:51 am
Jeanne A
After your first paragraph I was sure you were going to say that the espresso machine exploded.
What I relief to find that wasn’t it……….
We love our cheap Target Boden coffee maker. WE have 2 different sizes and one has broken it gets replaced right away.
February 2, 2008 at 7:47 am
Rebecca
Oh, this was funny. My husband just uses a Bodem coffee maker and it more then does the trick.
February 2, 2008 at 1:08 pm
Kelly @ Love Well
Maybe Ilsa needs some coffee? I know I’m off-beat without my caffeine.
Heck, everything is off-beat without caffeine. Free coffee for the masses! Starbucks should encircle the globe!
(Oh. Wait. They are already doing that.)
February 2, 2008 at 8:04 pm
LIB
That is too funny. How cool that you can use your pain as “Blog Fodder”!
I can’t resist commenting on the fact that Ilsa is off-beat. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, eh?:)
February 2, 2008 at 9:04 pm
planetnomad
Lib, I assume you mean Donn, as I am onbeat and onkey. The only one in the family to achieve both. Ilsa can sing on key and Elliot can keep a good beat and Donn and Abel can do neither.
February 2, 2008 at 9:28 pm
LIB
🙂
February 3, 2008 at 7:09 am
cce
It’s the little things that can really shatter a day. So glad you have someone to come to your rescue with triple shot espresso and a lot of milk!
February 3, 2008 at 10:01 pm
slouching mom
a woman after my own heart, you are.
must. have. (good.) coffee.
February 4, 2008 at 10:22 am
Pieces
This is the best post. Full of great little one liners. “It depends on the day.” “Why won’t taunting, shame and derision work with my kids?” My husband would love you for that line alone.
February 6, 2008 at 1:21 pm
Maddy
Sounds like mental gymnastics to me.
Best wishes
May 27, 2008 at 2:05 pm
To Holiday or Not « Planet Nomad
[…] who reads every word they write and who–this is real dedication–listens to music exams, which usually involved them singing, off key and far too close to the mike, into a tape recorder. When she sent back the corrections of their first exam, she included a paper […]