Senile

Two great loves in my life are coffee and my laptop. Given that I spend hours drinking one while typing or reading on the other, it’s amazing I’ve never tried to combine them before.

On Saturday Ilsa was sick, and she and Abel were watching some show on Netflix, can’t remember which, and I was looking at the TV as I set my cup of coffee on the stool that serves as an end table. Just below was my laptop, sitting on its side so that we’d see it easier. (We got in the habit of doing this when Donn had a laptop with an overheating problem, but it works well when laptops are set on the floor) Somehow, I missed the table, and the coffee poured gently into all the openings (orifices?) on the upright side of the computer. It entered the place where you plug in the cord. It entered the USB slot. It entered this other…slot…for …something? I have no idea what went there, but I do know it used to have something in it and it’s lost now.

My computer isn’t new, but it’s not that old. It’s about 70 in people years. (I figure one people year is about 12 in computer years. What do you think?) We got it in 2007. But it’s been through a lot. It’s crashed several times and traveled all over and had viruses and been entirely reformatted at least twice. Worldwide travel is rough on laptops, I can attest. The speakers don’t work and it’s very slow and has plenty of issues, but it is mine.

It seemed to be entirely dead, but Donn said to wait. And last night, he plugged it in and managed to get it going again! However, it seems to have developed a certain, well, senility. And that’s maybe not surprising. 70 in people years isn’t that old, but when one’s health wasn’t good to start with, it can be. I was trying to come up with an equivalent. After all, pouring coffee into one’s ear would be unpleasant, but I don’t think it would cause too much damage? Maybe this is like a broken hip? What do you think?

The computer, bless it, thought it was January 1, 2007. I tried to go on Facebook and it explained that was impossible, because FB’s certificate was dated with the imaginary date of June 20, 2012. I had to manually scroll through all the months from Jan 07 to Dec 12, to reset the date. It’s forgotten how to open google reader. It proudly tells me it has 116 hours of battery power left, which, not to put too fine a point on it, it doesn’t. The battery on this thing lasts about 2 minutes and 20 seconds, during which time whoever is using it freaks out and frantically plugs it back in. Now it is plugged in, but it doesn’t realize it and thinks it’s running off battery. Really, it’s rather sweet, this unexpected belief in its own prowess.

It’s even slower and creakier, and keeps flashing a red light at me too. But that’s okay. At least it’s back, with me for just a little while longer. I’m just grateful for this extra time I have with it, however long. I don’t mind if it tells me it’s its birthday, or tells me it’s late for the school bus. Bless it.