I just found a new-to-me blog in which the writer keeps emphasizing that she posts 3 times a week, MWF. I thought that was good. What if I posted that often? Who would care? No one. You don’t have time to read all that’s in your feed reader anyway, right? Right. No guilt here.
Last week we went to a conference in Indiana. It was a lot of fun, believe it or not. Usually this sort of thing is either interesting and informative or deadly dull, but rarely is it fun. This one was. We met a lot of really cool people, connected with some old friends, and went on a bunch of hikes by a creek filled with limestone boulders for scrambling over. I didn’t find out that this region has copperhead snakes till the evening before we left, which meant my heart was relaxed and calm as I leaped happily from rock to rock. (I will post pics either Monday or Wednesday)
The weather was sunny and there were even Adirondack chairs on a breezy, leaf-strewn lawn, and it was easy to snatch an hour or two with a book. Seriously. Best conference ever.
(Ok but how was the coffee, you’re wondering. Frankly, it would have been okay (Douwe Egberts from a machine) except that it was served in styrofoam cups, which I thought were illegal but I guess not. Do you live in a region where they still exist? Do you care? Do you feel that nothing tastes all the good out of styrofoam? Did you feel that way long before you knew they were even bad for you and the environment? Discuss in comments)
Several of my Iraqi friends were worried about the kids, who stayed in Oregon and went to school as normal. “We can bring them food,” they told me. I explained they were staying with someone else. “Tell them to call us if they need ANYTHING,” they urged.
On Wednesday, I got a call in Indiana. Mona wanted the address where they were staying. She had made falafel, qubba, and dolma for them. She delivered it all on Thursday. She called me tonight. “You didn’t get any, so I’m making some more for you,” she told me.
But I don’t need it. Today another couple brought me dinner, since I’m “tired.” (aside: I’m not really that tired.) They showed up at my door with an enormous plate of briyani, a platter of baked chicken with potatoes and vegetables, and another plate of fried…something delicious…possibly fish?…and french fries, garnished with parsley. Also there’s a salad.
“It’s like we get paid in food,” Elliot commented.
But I’m feeling the love. I think food is definitely a love language. Last week, I allowed myself to be talked into staying at Bea’s for lunch on Wednesday, mostly because Fiona wanted to meet Bea’s visitor, who’s from the same region in Iraq as she is. When I thanked Bea for the amazing (and delicious) spread she’d put on, she touched her heart. “Oh Elizabeth, it makes me so happy when I can cook for you,” she said. And while Arabs always win at compliments and hospitality (seriously, if you are American, just try and top them. You can’t! We’re raised wrong), I sensed she meant it. It brings her joy to feed me. (It brings me joy to eat too, sadly for my jean size…) I feel very loved by my full fridge, knowing that while I was gone someone went out of their way to make sure my children and my friend who was hosting them got their full of delicious, home-made Arab food. (And I heard from my friends how wonderful the food was.) (Also apparently I’m addicted to parenthetical comments. I believe it’s a sign of a lazy writer, which is another reason to be happy I’m not posting 3 times a week).
PS Thanks to all who voted for Elliot’s essay, and those who tried. He didn’t get enough votes to advance to the second round, sadly, but it’s all right–there are a lot of other essays out there to try for.
14 comments
April 14, 2012 at 11:43 pm
meredith
I have a new friend from Egypt and I smile as I read this post and think about the cake I tasted on Thursday, made by her mom made when she knew that we were having tea together.
April 15, 2012 at 12:11 am
suburbancorrespondnt (@sbrbncrrspndnt)
Now I’m hungry. For falafel…
April 15, 2012 at 12:46 am
Corina
I love middle eastern food. Unfortunately I don’t have anyone except myself to make it for me!
April 15, 2012 at 1:07 am
Ariana {And Here We Are...}
Food and hospitality are also my love language: I definitely need more Arab friends. Compliments are something I am lousy at, but woutl like to work on. I love how well they took care of you, for something routine like a trip to a conference– no one was even in the hospital!
April 15, 2012 at 2:23 am
Kit
Food is inded a winderful love language! It sounds like your friends really excell at it too – I agree we must have been brought up wrong… as an English person I think we are way behind the Americans in that, some ridiculous British reticence about not embarrassing people by showering on them more than they could give you in return or something!
April 15, 2012 at 7:56 am
chrisbethnbubba2
Almost totally off the main subject (which I really enjoyed) I had to comment on your parentheses note. Thank you for explaining why I do this so much! And you are sooooo correct. (And now back to the fabulous food…)
April 15, 2012 at 2:26 pm
Nicole
Food is a love language, I’m realizing as I get older. It really is.
We have styrofoam cups available here – I don’t see them that often, but on occasion I will be someplace where they will be used for coffee, etc. Coffee does taste a little strange in styrofoam, but maybe that’s just because the kind of coffee that goes in styrofoam cups is often the kind of coffee that is gross. Maybe that’s just a generalization though.
I post often! I post often! Is that something that tempts people to come to one’s blog? I don’t know.
April 15, 2012 at 6:19 pm
LIB
One of your statements “there were even Adirondack chairs” reminds me of a anecdote from the summer Ali was in New York.
She had the chance to go hiking in the Adirondacks. She said, “I like the idea of hiking but I don’t see why we need to lug those heavy chairs around.”:-)
April 15, 2012 at 9:35 pm
kara@thechuppies
I love your friends…I need to get to know them 🙂
April 16, 2012 at 6:29 am
mary m
Years ago, my friend and I ,tried some Lebanese food at a new (then) restaurant in Corvallis. First time for both of us. 3/4 of the way through
my friend said, “What is wrong with your eyes?” Apparently, I was having an
allergic reaction to something in the food?..not sure. Eyes swelled up,itchy,
like hay fever symptoms.Sadly, I’ve never tried middle eastern food again.
And, I liked it! (the food)
April 16, 2012 at 2:15 pm
Kim
I really like middle eastern food and although there are some Arabs in Cordoba (city), there are not many in my little town. We used to have a little hole-in-the-wall middle eastern restaurant but the overhead was too much and he closed. Happily my husband ran into the owner recently who told him he’s still cooking at home and we can pick up food “to go” from him there. Oh happy day!
April 17, 2012 at 8:49 am
Rachel
I adore middle eastern food but am terrified to make it. Maybe one day you could post a tutuorial from one of your friends on how to make something. lol. As if you aren’t busy enough. Just food for thought.
April 18, 2012 at 6:49 am
M
Food is a love language in other cultures too – Indian for one. (my background) – and sadly, I didn’t realise or appreciate it when I lived there. It irritated me to be inundated with food (or offers of it), when my mother was travelling or ill – my only excuse being I was the std. snotty teen. Having lived in the US for the last 20 years, I see that older immigrants still treat food the same way – *any* occasion is reason for them to bring you food. My generation tends to hesitate and waits to be asked.
Am trying to get back to the old ways – consciously remind myself to make things for people 🙂
April 19, 2012 at 9:09 pm
Nan | wrathofmom.blogspot.ca
I do wish I had Arab friends. One of the biggest concessions we’ve made living up here is that there if very little ethnic or racial diversity. Which also comes down to us not having access to really good ethnic food.