I’m trying to get back into the rhythm of blogging. I have several planned posts rattling round in my mind, and I’m hoping to get to them soon before they are hopelessly outdated. In the meantime, how was your 4th, for those of you who are in the US? I have to admit that I wondered if any of my Iraqi friends were having flashbacks. It’s a long time since we spent a 4th of July in an American neighbourhood. 3 years ago we were in the US, but we were invited by friends to celebrate way out in the country.
It seemed that everybody around me had huge fireworks, the kind you used to only see in public places. 10 years ago, I’m really sure it was different. Right? Or is my memory even worse than I realized?
Where did they get them? Why? Aren’t they expensive? Aren’t they scary? Aren’t they gorgeous? Isn’t it nice that I can now stay home and watch great fireworks for free without fighting the crowds? These and other questions ran through my mind as I watched oranges and reds and greens and whites bloom and blossom in the sky around me, while the walls were rocked by explosion after explosion. It was great fun!
***
I spent yesterday afternoon being shown all the costume jewelry owned by an Iraqi friend who loves costume jewelry, which she calls “joory.” Leslie and I were careful not to show too much enthusiasm, so that we didn’t end up taking it all home. “How lovely that is on you!” I kept saying. “How nice that you have that!” “Congratulations!” It worked; we managed to leave with nothing more than we came with (except that we each brought cookies home).
We were also shown her boxful of gold chains and pendants. I showed appropriate enthusiasm and wondered again what they think of me. I do not have much gold jewelry, but by now, in their minds, I really should—married a long time, a mother, obviously rich since I’m American. I should have a box full of chains and pendents and be covered wrist to elbow in clinking bangles. They are disappointed with my paltry silver bangles, even though I am very fond of them.
It reminded me of a hilarious scene from Guests of the Sheik, Elizabeth Warnlock Fernea’s account of her 2-year stay (as a newlywed no less) in a rural village in the south of Iraq. She described her white gold wedding ring being passed round by a group of women, who don’t believe it’s really gold and tell her kindly, “Even if it is gold, it’s not very much gold.”
My wedding ring has 3 diamonds, one each for my children. (No it’s not my original ring. I kind of, um, lose wedding rings.) It’s beautiful and I never tire of looking at it. My silver bangles are from Mauritania, and my thick silver bracelet is from Morocco, and was bought for me by Abel when he was on his desert camping trip. I also wear a bead bracelet made by Ilsa. I don’t mind if my Arab friends don’t appreciate them; to me they have meaning.
***
Our ESL class starts Monday. I have managed to find other people to do a kids’ program, and to make and serve tea and refreshments. Books have been ordered; Leslie has been prepped and mentored to within an inch of her life! (I don’t even know what that means. It’s just that we spend a lot of time together) My house is a wreck. I have this idea wherein I go off to visit and work, and my 3 teens, on their own initiative, do their own dishes, wipe down the bathroom, sweep floors, and I come home to sparkling countertops and crumb-free floors. So far, this isn’t working exactly as planned. Anyone have any ideas?
Planet Nomad 
9 comments
July 8, 2011 at 10:21 am
Jennifer
One can buy those fireworks in Vancouver. Most of them are technically illegal in Oregon. Or so I hear : )
July 9, 2011 at 1:09 am
meredith
I swear they sell sticks of dynamite to kids here for the 14 juillet. But that’s France, where the line between safe and dangerous isn’t the same.
I have no idea how to get kids to help out other than incessant nagging. I get tired of that and end up just unloading the dishwasher, picking up empty yogurt containers off the floor by the tv, herding up all the shoes (how can 4 people have so many shoes), etc…myself (woe is me)
July 9, 2011 at 3:48 am
Debbie Johnson
I noticed the same thing about fireworks when we were in the States last year. I was sure they were shooting off fireworks that used to be illiegal back in the 70’s and 80’s!
July 9, 2011 at 6:40 am
Annie
“I have this idea wherein I go off to visit and work, and my 3 teens, on their own initiative, do their own dishes, wipe down the bathroom, sweep floors, and I come home to sparkling countertops and crumb-free floors.”
Given Elliot, Abel and Ilsa, I can only imagine that the reason why your plan isn’t working is because you haven’t yet gone off to visit and work. I’m sure if you left the house, your dream would come true.
[actually, you might have to be gone for quite some time…say 15 years…but eventually your kids would perform amazing feats of cleaning. I know from experience.]
July 9, 2011 at 9:47 am
gretchen from lifenut
We were in my hometown for the 4th. My dad put on a street fireworks show with fountains and cones bought at Sam’s Club. It was nice and pretty safe. The neighbor bought fireworks from “back east” and they were the kind that launches into the sky and explodes. Quite illegal here, but beautiful and loud. No cops.
Your friends would be really disappointed with my jewelry. I have a bunch of kids and my jewelry does not reflect my status. My only gold is my wedding band and engagement ring. I prefer silver. My diamond is TINY. Husband and I were very poor college students when we got engaged. Jobless English majors. No credit. No savings. He used his last dime buying my ring. Silly guy, but we were young and dumb. Luckily, he didn’t starve to death because I was wearing his food money on my left ring finger.
July 9, 2011 at 3:32 pm
LIB
Your memory is not faulty–there are DEFINITELY more (illegal) fireworks in the neighborhoods. They get them out of state (mostly WA) and YES, they are expensive.
I can understand the one that shoot up in the air and are pretty, but I DO NOT understand the appeal of the ones that just make a REALLY LOUD “BOOM!” My theory is that it gives people who feel pretty powerless in their daily life feelings of power.
As to jobs for the kids while you’re out of the house–when I was taking summer classes at PSU, I used to leave written lists, on small pieces of paper, with each daughter’s name on one (sometimes one for their dad, too). These lists had specific jobs and each list was comparable (e.g. list 1-dust living room, sweep front porch, empty dishwasher / list 2-vacuum living room rug, sweep back porch, wipe down kitchen counters). For some reason this seemed to work. Maybe because I wasn’t standing over them, nagging? An expression I heard recently really resonates with me, ‘An outward sense of order contribute to an inner sense of calm.” Good luck.
July 11, 2011 at 9:45 pm
Kara @ The Chuppies
It took me like 5 tries to find the comment box…don’t know what my problem is tonight…
I re-read the jewelry paragraph 3 times…smiling.
“How nice this looks on…You…” 🙂
You could try smelly-sticker-chore-charts.
I love reading all your stories 🙂
July 12, 2011 at 9:16 am
ladyfi
Fireworks are decreasing over here – not very good for the environment or animals … Laser shows would be a much better alternative.
July 17, 2011 at 8:50 am
MaryWitzl
I’ve also had middle-aged friends and colleagues just dripping with gold and jewels, and clearly wondering why I wasn’t — (Didn’t my husband KNOW I was worthy of that sort of thing? Didn’t I TELL him?) My Japanese friends couldn’t understand why I didn’t insist on a wedding reception which would have cost thousands of dollars and been over in two hours. No matter how many times I explained that we intended to use the money to travel for a couple of months, they kept saying, “But what will you tell your children?”