Today, April 19th, is the 8th anniversary of our first arrival in Mauritania. Since that time, we’ve also lived in France, Oregon, and now Morocco. In honour of the event, I’m posting a story that I wrote in the early months of our time in Mauritania. This story was also posted 3 years ago, the fourth post on my then brand-new blog.
July 2001…I venture downtown alone, via taxi, to buy things for Elliot’s birthday celebration. The day is hot, the streets dusty and choked with trash. I buy some items at a Lebanese-owned market and emerge into the glare, blinking and looking around for another taxi. A man approaches me, smiling hugely. I tense. I know what is coming, I think, another request for money. I have already guiltily avoided the large brown puppy-dog eyes of several beggar boys, who have perfected the art of looking pitiful. This man, however, is more creative.
“You are American?” he begins in English.
I nod guardedly.
“Welcome!” He makes a sweeping gesture. “Welcome to Africa!”
“Thanks,” I mutter, taken by surprise.
“We love to have Americans come to Africa,” he continues. “Because Americans love black people.” I feel a little proud of such a heritage and a little skeptical of it, too. But I nod. What else can I do?
He continues to speak, in heavily-accented English. Americans are not like other Westerners because they love the black people and are always willing to help them. Hmm, I think. This is a slightly new twist on the role of America in international politics. He must have known some awfully nice Americans, I think in my innocence.
Have I come to stay or am I just passing through? he inquires anxiously. When reassured of my continued presence, he beams, if possible even more broadly. I have arrived at an auspicious time. His wife has just had a son, and tomorrow is the naming ceremony, held on the 8th day after birth. It is a time of great joy for him, and he would like to present me with a gift.
I shift a bit in the glaring sun and dust, and watch in some bemusement as he produces the most hideous fake-gold costume-jewelry bracelet I have ever seen. It is truly ugly as few things are. He firmly puts in on my wrist, explaining that I must keep it because it will bring good luck to his son, now that he has given a gift to an American women, who loves the black people…
My mind drifts back to a few weeks ago. We had only been here a few days, and Donn took Elliot to the market. He had brought me a similar hideous bracelet and a similar tale, of a man who had spoken English, welcomed him to Africa, and invited him to the naming ceremony of his son, to be held the next day. Donn was invited to participate in the joy of purchasing a sheep to be eaten at the celebration.
We were touched at the graciousness of a people who would invite complete strangers to a family celebration. “I think you should go,” I tell Donn. He nods in agreement. “Do you think I could come, too?” I ask, eager to experience my new adopted culture in all its variations. “Maybe,” says Donn. “I don’t know where he lives or anything, but I’ll ask.”
And the next day, he had driven around the downtown area looking for the guy. When he did find him, he asked about it. At first the man looked a little confused, but then his face cleared and he told Donn that Donn had misunderstood; the naming ceremony was the next day. It was not too late for Donn to help purchase the sheep…
So I determinedly and not too regretfully give the bracelet back. No, no, I tell him. I can’t keep the bracelet. He insists. It is bad luck for his son if I don’t. But it is a gift. I am not to give him any money for it. (No fear of that, I think!) That would also be bad for the child.
I doubt the existence of the child altogether, but I don’t say so. I am polite. I am still new in Africa, you see. By now he is beginning to tell me about the sheep that will need to be bought. It is so expensive, you see. It may be as much as 20,000; of course he wouldn’t want that much but if I wanted to chip in a little towards that, say about 5000…
“I thought you didn’t want any money,” I say. He is shocked. Of course he doesn’t want money! The last thing on his mind would be for me to pay him for the bracelet, which is a gift, to welcome me to Africa and to bring luck to his son. However, if as a reciprocal gesture I wanted to contribute a little something to the purchase of the sheep…
I nod. Finally we are to the point. “I won’t give you money,” I tell him. “For one, I only have enough money on me to purchase the things I need myself today.” He nods, but obviously doesn’t believe me. In my experience, people I meet on the street believe I wear a layer of 1000 ouguiya bills next to the skin, drawn fresh each morning from my magical never-ending supply.
We go back and forth, under the hot sun, me holding my groceries in one hand and beginning to sweat, while traffic whizzes by and taxis enticingly come and go, always spotted just too late to flag them down. Can I never escape this man? I experience a feeling of desperation.
I give him the bracelet back again for about the tenth time. “I wish your son all the best,” I say, trying to keep my teeth unclenched. He gives the bracelet back to me. “It is a gift for you,” he states. “It is bad luck for my son if you don’t take it.”
“I don’t want the bracelet,” I tell him. “I wish your son blessings and prosperity.” He tries again to give me the bracelet. If it wasn’t so hideous I would probably just keep it and walk away, but I don’t want to ever have to see it again. Maybe I could give it to one of the beggar boys, popping it sweetly into their red cans in lieu of the coins they really want. Or I could just drop it in the dust of the street and the wheels of my taxi could run it over. But I don’t want to have to deal with it, and I doubt he would let me walk away. I give it back.
“I think you met my husband,” I say, hoping that this will trigger some guilt that I’m on to this very creative story for getting money from Americans. He just nods. He has no idea. He is now suggesting that maybe I would like to give just 1000 or 2000 towards the sheep. In desperation, I rummage in my purse. He perks up. “Or 4000 or 5000,” he continues. “Sheep are very expensive; maybe as much as 20,000.”
“I told you already I won’t give you any money,” I tell him. I am looking for some small plastic toy that I can give to the non-existent child, just to get rid of the man. After all, he can’t deny the child at this point; he will have to take it.
My fingers close on a roll of lifesavers. I pull it out and remove a bit of fuzz. It is unopened. “Look,” I tell him. “I’m not going to give you any money. But I wish your son all the best. Here is some American candy for him.”
He takes it suspiciously. “This is really from America?” he says. ”Yes, look. There is only English writing on it.” I turn the roll over, squinting at the tiny writing, looking for the magic words “Made in U.S.A.”
He is happy. Something from America is probably more than he thought he’d get. Maybe he thinks he can resell it; maybe it will give him prestige. Whatever. Finally, I am able to walk away without an ugly bracelet or having committed myself to owing this man something in return.
I tell Donn about it and we laugh. We continue to see the man often in the downtown area, and Donn has even asked about his son a few times. The answers are always a little ambiguous. But now, the man feels, we are fast friends. Surely we would like to buy this little souvenir he has, from Mali, over 200 years old, for only 20,000 ouguiya…
11 comments
April 19, 2009 at 7:09 pm
Kit
Well done for such creative thinking to get you out of it. In response to his very creative thinking too!
April 19, 2009 at 8:09 pm
slouching mom
What a great post! I love it.
April 19, 2009 at 8:14 pm
LG
Way to go! Much more effective than me at getting rid of scam artists. Back in my Gabon days we had huge problems with immigration and getting residency cards. We were in fear of CEDOC (centre de documentation). And one day a guy came up to me on one of our rare trips to the capital and proclaimed he was from CEDOC and he know so and so and all these other people, etc. I was alone with the kids in a parking lot and somehow I ended up letting him get into the car with me, etc etc, and finally I got him out of the car for about $40!
I can’t believe I actually let him in the car, but we were in such fear of CEDOC and in fear of offending anyone from there. Then back at the guesthouse that night, some colleagues came over and I somewhat shamefully told my story (I mean, what was I thinking with the little kids in the car with me), and then they all laughed. I was at least the third or fourth person from our agency who had been scammed by the CEDOC man that month. Then I was furious. They could have warned me. But even now I cringe at my credulity. I let him get into the car with me….
April 19, 2009 at 11:30 pm
newsshop
thank you for review site
good job
April 19, 2009 at 11:51 pm
Nan
I can be terrible, and sometimes feel guilty. Trinidad isn’t as bad as Mauritania but you get to recognize THE LOOK (“Oh, look, a white person!”) and before they have opened their mouths I say “NO THANK YOU!!!!!”
And then I feel bad. Ish.
April 20, 2009 at 12:28 am
Nora
This is a wonderful story, and wonderfully told. Culture is so…interesting…
Happy 8 years!
April 20, 2009 at 12:49 am
marina villatoro
it’s a great story. i’m going on 7 years myself by moving to costa rica and now heading to guatemala. however, i originally started the never ending journey 8 years ago too.
it’s amazing how you remember such monumental anniversaries!
i’m sure you’re looking forward to the next 8 years:)
The Travel Expert(a) – Living and Traveling Central America
April 20, 2009 at 12:52 am
jolyn
I studied in Bonn for a year in college. I waitressed at a cafe in the town center and gypsy kids would come around and beg around the customers. When I first arrived in Germany I had so much pity for them, but by the time I left I, too, was telling them to “Go away!” and not feeling guilty for it. I almost didn’t recognize myself.
I wasn’t reading you that long ago; it was nice to get a glimpse of where you came from!
April 20, 2009 at 1:59 am
LIB
Congratulations on eight years! It’s cultural awareness and creativity like this that have made these eight years (mostly) happy.
Thanks for taking the time to share it all with us!
April 20, 2009 at 2:37 pm
Kelly @ Love Well
This post contains all I love about your writing and your soul. It’s poetic, observant, respectful, funny and inspiring.
Look at how far you’ve come! (So what do you do now when confronted with a bracelet-giver? Would you react different today?)
April 21, 2009 at 10:19 am
MaryWitzl
Wonderful story!
My husband encountered similar people in Sudan, but in his case he actually did go with one man to a wedding ceremony where a goat was slaughtered in his honor. Right in front of him, in fact — which came as a big surprise.
I think that being white certainly makes you a con-man magnet in Africa (and many other places) but being American is probably the main thing. I knew an African-American Peace Corps volunteer who was in the Ivory Coast and got hit up for money all the time. He figured it was his clothes and the air of prosperity about him. And Chinese-Americans in China get targeted all the time, too… It’s the smell of money we all seem to acquire as infants. And our good shoes and superior dental care…