Spring: when young men’s fancy turns to love, and the French go on strike. Yes it’s the season for the greve again. The children are excited, hoping that their teachers belong to the unions with the most demands.
Elliot stayed home from school on Thursday because his teacher was on strike, but the twins (in different classes) had school. This is how it goes. There are many teachers’ unions, and individuals join them rather than schools as a whole. You never know when your child will bring home a note announcing a day off. But since the teachers strike individually, usually only one or two out of three kids will have a striking teacher. Usually, each year one child will have a teacher who strikes noticeably more often than the others. The other children envy this child.
Spring is the season though—beginning now through about May, in France, airlines and trains and busses, teachers and nurses, will go on strike. Effects will trickle down here to this former French colony, where travelers will get stuck in Paris en route to Nouakchott, or the school’s nurse won’t be there the day your kid throws up in the corner of the sandy courtyard during recess. I don’t know why the longer days and burgeoning bulbs bring out these tendencies. The only thing I can come up with is that it’s an excuse to get a day off work to enjoy the season.
We lived in the French Alps for a year—an incredibly lovely year. We didn’t have a car so we walked about 6 miles a day, enjoying the changing seasons and the light on the mountains that surrounded our town. Walking so much freed us to enjoy all that France has to offer in the way of good food and drink without gaining too much weight. We found the French welcoming and generous, patient with our accents and limited vocabulary.
Elliot was 8 that year and the twins were 6, learning how to read and acquiring beautiful French accents, the better to mock our sorry attempts at the French ‘r’. For 2 weeks each that winter, their classes had swimming lessons during morning school. Elliot’s class had them first, in early December. We packed his swim trunks and a bonnet (warm cap) for afterwards, when he walked out into freezing air with wet hair. This was following school instructions: the French don’t trust you to come up with this on your own.
He looked forward to swim class for weeks and went off that morning in great excitement, but there was a huge difference in his comportment when we picked him up at noon for lunch. You could see the rain cloud, a la Eeyore, literally hanging over his head. He was depressed and, unusual for him, quiet about it over lunch.
We kept questioning him—“How was it? Did you have fun? What did you do?” He kept not answering, and this from a kid who usually won’t stop talking.
He was so depressed that we, loving and concerned parents, began to get really worried. Finally, in desperation, we asked that question that every parent dreads having to ask—did anyone touch you? Still, he shook his head.
Eventually we got it out of him. Oh the shame, the horror. In France, it transpired, it is the law that males wear Speedo-style swimwear in public schools. As West-Coast Americans, the males in our family all owned baggy swim trunks, or even in the case of the surfing father, board shorts. It had never in our wildest dreams occurred to us that any “free” country would pass an actual law about this—especially a country so relaxed in general on the concept of swimwear or not.
So they did make you wear your underwear? we asked Elliot. “No, they had an extra swimsuit for me,” he muttered, head still down. Did the other kids make fun of you? “No, they were all wearing the same kind of swimsuits.” All this drama for…what exactly? It took us hours to get our heart-rates back to normal, and days to recover from the morbid imaginings we’d come up with.
We had to buy him a new swimsuit and, since it was December, they were only available at the sporting goods store. 22 euros for Speedo brand—ouch. We were able to find fitted shorts, which eased his trauma. When it was Abel’s turn 2 weeks later, they told us Elliot’s were too big on him so we bought him the underwear-style. He didn’t mind—in fact he liked them. He’s a little exhibitionist at heart.
I asked every single French person that I knew the reason for this law. “It’s hygiene,” they told me. According to them, before this law was passed, French men would wear their swim trunks as shorts. They would eat meals, and wipe their hands on their pants, and then go into the pool where bits of lunch would float off into the water. So why not pass laws about manners? Don’t be silly. I asked why that was less hygienic than wearing Speedos as underwear, under your shorts-cum-napkin, but I never did get a good answer.
We have friends who are living in the same lovely Alpine town this year, studying French at the same school we went to. They recently sent us an email—they had tried to go swimming, and the man was turned away because he had swim trunks instead of Speedo-style. The answer for him? He bought a new swimsuit at a vending machine provided at the pool for just this kind of emergency. Hmmm… Are you thinking the real reason for this law is the same as I’m thinking?
16 comments
February 10, 2007 at 10:35 pm
Jodi
I’m having a chuckle over this. My husband and I recently returned from the Caribbean, where an unfortunate number of men of all sizes wore Speedos. A fellow traveler used the opportunity to inform us of the French laws concerning men’s swimwear. In his tale the government wants to avoid the risk of weapons concealed in swimwear.
Your version seems more likely.
February 11, 2007 at 12:31 am
mopsy
I had no idea it was a *law*. As usual, a fascinating post.
February 11, 2007 at 2:07 am
sweatpantsmom
I’m still trying to get over the vending machine that sells swim trunks. Wow.
February 11, 2007 at 1:35 pm
Rebecca
Wait – my mind is still wrapped around the whole concept of the Speedo being the only allowable bathing suit. Ew! And the striking teachers – that’s hilarious!
The Ontario Teacher’s Union went on strike ten years ago or so, and there was a lot of public outcry – are parents calm about all this striking?
February 11, 2007 at 3:12 pm
planetnomad
Yes, parents are calm and even supportive. After all, it’s part of life, a regular occurence.
February 11, 2007 at 4:15 pm
meredith
This post has me giggling, a lot.
Somewhere in my liife in France I got the idea that the reason for speedos was a way to keep unwanted body hair out of the pools.
I have the reverse problem. My very french husband came swimming with us in a pool in america, and he got the evil eye, stared at, young mothers holding their children closely as he walked by. I coudn’t figure it out until I realized it was his speedo swim suit that was shocking them all. We went to Walmart later that day and didn’t have to spend 22$ to make him look more acceptable for an american pool 🙂
February 11, 2007 at 4:16 pm
meredith
PS
My daughter just started her swimming pool class with school, I may take a picture of that vending maching, just for fun 🙂
February 11, 2007 at 6:42 pm
Mary-LUE
I’m sure here in America, there would be a complete uproar over the hit-and-miss strike schedule. It would mess up too many SAHM’s plans and working parents day care arrangements, I think!
There is something about a Speedo that makes everyone giggle, isn’t there? I have a friend who moved to the States from England. His first time at the beach with us he wore a Speedo under regular swim trunks. Once he got to the beach he promptly took off the swim trunks. I think all of our jaws must have dropped and our eyes popped out. (He really looked fine, it was just our knee-jerk immaturity rearing its silly head.) Within a few minutes he accurately processed the situation, realized he had a pair of regular shorts he could change into after swimming and popped the swim trunks back on. The relief on our part of the beach was palpable.
February 11, 2007 at 9:28 pm
planetnomad
Meredith, I was waiting for your reaction 😉 It’s true that Americans don’t like Speedos, but they no longer bother me. How funny that your husband got such an extreme reaction! What did he wear when you were in Hawaii?
Can’t wait to see that picture.
February 12, 2007 at 7:07 am
Michelle
Evidently swim suit protocol is high on the list of national priorities in France. Someone should pass a law about wearing hideous Speedos though. No one looks good in one. NO ONE.
February 12, 2007 at 4:40 pm
CathyC
It’s a law?!????? That explains A LOT of what my poor eyes had to see when we were vacationing in St Martin (the French side). Except that my husband and I thought that there should have been a law Against it.
February 12, 2007 at 8:06 pm
LIB
One of the troubles with SPEEDO’s in the US vs France is the difference between the weight of the average Frenchman and the average American.
I can imagine this whole issue bothering Elliot, but not Abel.
February 13, 2007 at 9:42 pm
CathyC
Hi Lib, unfortunately the Frenchmen wearing speedo’s, or naked even, were on the HEFTY HEFTY side of things. Gravity was NOT their friend.
February 25, 2007 at 4:50 am
Pieces
I’m so behind in my blog reading–too much crafting goin on at my house. I saw the photo of a swimsuit vending machine at Meredith’s site. I believe that you inspired her. A law about speedo wearing just seems absurd.
October 9, 2008 at 6:57 pm
2201East
What difference does it make. I am 55. When I was his age it was REQUIRED that you swim naked at the YMCA in the United States. Does it really matter? The extreme point that your making of it certainly makes it more difficult for your son. Give him a break and shut up about it! It makes me wonder what your real priorities must be. Hope nothing happens that might have to be a real concern to you.
March 23, 2009 at 9:25 pm
The Dead School « Planet Nomad
[…] we were amazed at all the strikes. The French joke that it’s their national sport, and the season for strikes is spring. Even the unemployed went on strike, a fact which amused us so much that I bring it up […]