Everyone is so…freakin’…friendly here! People keep smiling at me as I walk down the street. It’s very strange. I keep glancing down, wondering if perhaps my skirt is tucked up in the back, or if I have a large smear of mustard on my t-shirt or something. But no. Everyone is just so…nice.
Store clerks greet me. They inquire solicitously after my health and frame of mind. I buy things, and people urge me to have a nice day.
The children aren’t used to this, and respond with more enthusiasm then is perhaps necessary or even desired. Elliot, especially, feels the need to explain to complete strangers where we live, how we just arrived, how fascinating we are. At least that’s how it feels to me, but everyone is so, well, nice to him.
And men that I don’t even know keep wanting to shake my hand! This is very strange for me. I went to church with my in-laws on Sunday, and afterwards so many people shook my hands. In Mauritania, men and women don’t shake hands. Men greet women verbally, and women hug and kiss each other. Men will hug each other, if they have a good relationship. But Islam prohibits men and women from touching each other at all.
But it’s not always this simple. Men who have traveled and who know something of Western culture might legitimately want to shake my hand, respecting my culture as I try to respect theirs. But others, viewing me as Western which equals immoral (whaddya mean you’re not exactly like Jennifer Aniston on Friends?), will try to shake my hand and hold on just a leetle bit too long. Creepy. I have to make a split-second judgement on whether or not to take each proffered hand; is this guy looking for an illicit thrill with a wild white woman, or is he just a nice, well-traveled man who wants to say hi? It’s exhausting.
On Sunday, I found myself starting to make those split-second decisions, then squelching them and remembering that I’m in America again. I shook many hands. At least this is better than the time I went from Mauritania to France, where the men greet you with a kiss on each cheek.
I’m working on being more friendly myself. So have a nice day, y’hear? And thanks so much for stopping by.
11 comments
June 21, 2006 at 7:48 pm
courtney orrange
so do i shake your hand or kiss your cheek…. I think I’ll just follow your lead. 🙂
courtney
June 22, 2006 at 4:06 am
veronica
When I was in school, some of the African men would hug the American women for the same reason. Creepy.
I hope your re-adaptation (wow, that sounds ominously sci-fi) goes smoothly.
June 22, 2006 at 3:05 pm
Pieces
I’ve never thought Americans were all that nice to strangers. Now I am afraid to go anywhere else! My expectations must be really, really high.
June 22, 2006 at 9:25 pm
sheri
Hm, do you also think part of it might be that you’re in small town USA now? I don’t find Angelinos all that friendly and NO ONE has shaken my hand at church in many moons. (Then again, I’m not a celebrity like y’all.)
June 23, 2006 at 6:36 am
Michelle
Culture shock in deed! I’m from the land of greet with a kiss on the cheek and last time I went back State side I found myself offering my cheek to be kissed by non-kissing folks. It was funny ’cause some would actually kiss it in an akward manner, and then I would find myself apologizing! Weird.
June 24, 2006 at 5:53 pm
meredith
I have an extended american step-family that kisses on the lips when they see eachother, and I just can’t do that anymore. I much prefer the quick french peck on the cheek greeting. And they find that weird. But when my oldest kissed goodbye (à la francais) an old chum’s son on the cheek on our last visit back, she got some mega teasing, accused of being in love, and all that. The american kids didn’t know that’s how you say goodbye in france.
June 24, 2006 at 8:51 pm
planetnomad
I love how French kids always kiss me hello and goodbye. I hope she wasn’t too embarrassed by the teasing!
June 27, 2006 at 4:23 pm
Wacky Mommy
Yeah, it’s when they grab your ass that you’ve got a problem. A handshake is just a handshake. (“Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar” — Freud)
I just started reading “Acts of Faith,” by Philip Caputo. Have you read him? I think you’d like his work. Here’s the synopsis (I did not write this, obviously. Ha!): “Thirty years ago, Pulitzer Prize-winning author and journalist Philip Caputo crossed the deserts of Sudan and Eritrea on foot and camelback, a journey that inspired his first novel, “Horn of Africa,” and awakened a lifelong fascination with Africa. His travels have since taken him back to Sudan, as well as to Kenya, Somalia, and Tanzania, and from those experiences he has fashioned “Acts of Faith,” his most ambitious novel.”
June 28, 2006 at 7:07 pm
Carrie Nasset
So glad you’re home for awhile, Beth! i still get confused once in awhile, giving money to a cashier w/my left hand. (gasp!)
I would LOVE to talk with you–what is your number?
July 29, 2006 at 1:47 am
Buzz McCoy
I think all handshaking should be banned. Human hands are filthy. So is a human mouth for that matter. A human mouth is a seething cauldron of germs. Dogs’ mouths, on the other hand, are quite clean. I’d kiss a dog anyday.
October 11, 2006 at 10:46 am
Jeremiah Garrison
It is a shame to see that chivalry has almost died off in our own country , but in other places it is hard to decipher between chivalry and an overbearing attraction or a nice guy trying to say hello ……