Last night, we were driving home down the Columbia River Gorge at twilight. The light reflected off the silvery river, deepening the shadows of the rocks. We were quiet, tired after a long afternoon of exploring the region around Hood River, crossing the river into Washington and driving up into the hills, and visiting an old train depot. My brother is in town from Iowa (no, they don’t have flooding where they are but it was close; they could see it) and this is what he wanted to do; drive down the Gorge, visit some spots in the shadow of the mountain.
We are home from California and this will be another boring blog post because not much is up. I caught a bit of a stomach bug in California and it hasn’t entirely left me, leaving me just a bit sick-feeling but not actually sick.
In addition, our landlord is planning to sell this charming duplex on the edge of a tiny protected wetlands/forest, where we’ve lived so happily these past 9 months, so we had to do some deep cleaning to get it photo-ready. We like to pretend that we don’t accumulate junk, but it’s a lie. I took 5 huge bags of clothes to Goodwill, happily dumping my junk for someone else to deal with. I was ruthless–I got rid of perfectly cute and stylish clothes that fit just because the kids never wear them, and I’m not going to pack them for Morocco. Ilsa wanted to throw things away and I had to remind her–this isn’t Africa. No one will go through our garbage and salvage things with a bit of use in them, ingeniously finding ways to use things that we, in our comfort and wealth, would never have thought of.
There’s been a lot of emphasis in the media (a term that now includes blogs; why not?) lately on being frugal, saving money. I read with some bemusement a series in the Oregonian on how different local families were cutting their food budgets. It was all such basic stuff. Oh look, we can’t go eat out all the time…surprise! Oh look, we can’t buy brand name stuff for everything, and we need to comparison shop…surprise! Some people, and I know this will shock you, actually are eating leftovers for lunch, instead of buying out. Yes, these are desperate times.
I read a post recently by a woman who consciously lives frugally, who wrote about how people respond to her. She wrote of sharing a large Coke between her family, and how some others felt so sorry for them that they responded by giving them a toy from a children’s meal. Oookay. We never buy our kids the children’s meals. I think they are ridiculously overpriced and the last thing we need is more junky plastic toys to clutter up our home. But, thankfully, no one has reacted in horror to this form of child abuse by forcing toys on my children.
I heard a woman on NPR the other night, moaning about how much she misses eating lots of meat every day, the gentle, sympathetic voice of the interviewer murmuring supportively. I’m not being snide: the subject was treated as if this woman had lost her entire family in a catastrophic event, not that she missed going out for pizza and buying new clothes whenever she felt like it.
I understand. There are many people who would look at me, at the things I complain about not having or missing, and think, “Oh poor little rich girl. If she only knew my circumstances.” So I don’t mean to be as snotty-faced as I sound.
But I remember once, when Aicha commented on how rich I was. It surprised me. Aicha is well-off; her family is well-connected and she has travelled quite a bit for a Mauritanian woman, her mulaffas are new and stylish and her heels high and sparkly. Her gold earrings and bracelets show that she is a treasured wife. I was used to poorer Mauritanians commenting on my wealth as a way of benefiting from my middle-class guilt, but Aicha had never asked me for anything. So I asked what she meant.
She elaborated what it means to be rich. “You own your car,” she told me. “If you have a problem (such as needing to go to the doctor), you can solve it yourself without needing to go to anyone else for help. You eat meat every day.” That was a simple definition of what it meant, not to be comfortable, but to be rich.
So while I recognize that things are scary for Americans these days, I do think a little perspective could help us not panic.
And, on the plus side, at least if we have a worldwide famine, I don’t need to worry about my diet!






11 comments
June 21, 2008 at 9:01 pm
suburbancorrespondent
Yes, I’ve written about this, too. In our paper, a woman was bemoaning the fact that she couldn’t buy organic food for the whole family anymore and that she had to cut coupons. Wow – that’s really slumming it, isn’t it? And did you hear the piece on NPR 2 weeks ago, where the woman being interviewed was devastated to discover that she needed to shop somewhere cheaper than Whole Foods? This cracks me up. You can get the same conventionally raised produce you buy at Whole Foods somewhere else cheaper – why wouldn’t you? And why would that be a come-down? Yet the interviewer didn’t bother asking any sensible questions, she was too busy being sympathetic to this woman’s “plight.” It was incredible.
June 22, 2008 at 6:45 am
Nan
Heh, heh. When I throw stuff away that MIGHT be used by someone, I am careful to put it in a separate plastic bag so that the garbage-diggers will find it reasonably clean. Clothes washed and folded, broken toys with all of their parts. I never even thought about this before.
We share a soft drink in restaurants too. Another thing I never really thought about. And taking leftovers to work for lunch? Well, they are yummy leftovers. I have a microwave at work. And it saves me a ton of money. Wha?
June 22, 2008 at 10:12 am
Louise
Recently someone commented that our truck has “real” license plates, not “TT” or NGO plates. Meaning. that we “own” our own car. And by their expression, I realized that meant that a.) we were rich, or b.) they thought we had embezzled NGO funds to buy ourselves a personal car. When the truth is, it IS an NGO car, but we are only half finished the process of NGO correctness, and so it was simpler at the time to pay duty and own it in our own name, even if when I sell it, all funds still return to my NGO. Try explaining that one. And so we look rich.
But to not look rich, I need to ditch the truck and buy a Mercedes. Which would look great to the folks here, but wooowwweeee, what would all the folks back in BC think? All in perception.
Sometimes I am tired of being under the poverty line. I would love to have money, not to eat more meat, or buy nicer clothes. I would just like money to buy airline tickets, and to fly my whole family home to Canada, or out to Africa, every single year. That is my definition of happiness. Living overseas, but somehow having Christmas together as a family and summer vacations together, because we could afford it, or our NGO thought that was terrific, or some such thing….
In the meantime, I remember Donn and Ray and…. praying for internet access and telephone lines… and I am thankful for skype in my house… and for skype out so that I can call my Luddite mother and my artsie daughter!
June 22, 2008 at 2:24 pm
Rebecca
Oh, I KNOW. Food prices have gone up and we’re having to shop more carefully, but that’s not actually suffering. Of course, you should have heard our children wailing when we told them that we weren’t going to take them to McDonalds for THE SECOND TIME IN THE WEEKEND. WAAAAH!
June 22, 2008 at 6:29 pm
Lonie Polony
Now the older generations (who remember the Depression, world wars etc) are having their long-awaited laugh at everyone who bought into the lifestyle of entitlement and keeping up with the Joneses instead of living within one’s means and saving up to buy things.
Having said that, I do feel truly sorry for everyone battling continually increasing mortgage interest rates and petrol prices etc even though they haven’t been careless and wasteful spenders. There but for the grace of God go I…
June 23, 2008 at 2:39 am
meredith
We often order one plate and then the two girls share it when we eat out. Even in France, the restaurant portion sizes are wastefully too big.
June 23, 2008 at 6:21 am
Karen
Change is afoot worldwide. The next decade should prove “interesting” as standards of living across the globe tend to level out — some rising, some falling. Here — it appears — definitely falling.
June 23, 2008 at 10:14 am
Shalee
I think you and I would be very good friends if we could live near each other. I hear much of the moaning and groaning today and think, “What is wrong with you people? So what if you have to make changes – you still have more money than most of the world. You’re rich by the world’s standard.”
I’m just thankful that I’ve learned already how to live a bit more frugally. It’s not such a shock for us as it is for those who have never thought that they might approach the day when things would be tight.
Mr. Right and I always split a meal, even at McD. I just order a burger and share his fries and drink. If we go out (and it’s a big one because it galls me how expensive it is to eat out), we order water, which is really what we drink most of the time too.
And as we’ve packed, I’ve given away so many things. We’re only moving across town, but good night! If I don’t use it now, I don’t want to take it with me. Better let someone else have a chance to use things as they were intended.
June 23, 2008 at 3:03 pm
Kelly @ Love Well
I’m all abuzz with the resonance from this post. Amen and amen.
(By the way, the Columbia River Gorge at night? Sigh. Sounds heavenly.)
June 24, 2008 at 11:27 pm
Caffienated Cowgirl
I am a functioning economics junkie. The current situation in the US is part of a cycle. Cycles are ebbs and flows…but people tend to forget about the ebbs when they’ve been in the flow too long. Yes, things aren’t great in the US right now…my family runs their own business, I know…but I also think it’s a way of reseting our economy. We stumble and tumble through spending habits…and then when the money runs short, we cry. But in the grand scheme of things, we have it easy and our lives could be so much worse. Aicha is right.
Pontificate all you want. I am right there with you.
June 25, 2008 at 8:20 pm
Antique Mommy
As I hauled 10 big garbage bags out of my closet recently and to the Goodwill, I thought of these things that you talk about here. It comes in the front door and a year later it goes out the back door, sometimes worn only once or twice. I assuage my guilt about my poor stewardship by taking it all to charity.
Hope you get to feeling better soon. We had a similar virus here and it took more than a week to get over.